4.19.14 Day 62: It's a SURPRISE (so if you want to know what I did today you have to read the post)

If you are doing #FocusT25 you know how awesome this program is and how great it makes you feel and if you have been reading my blog you know how it is making me feel.  I don't know about you but I am at a point where I know I am getting awesome results and I feel better than I have in a long time but now I am getting anxious to look amazing and to have other people notice and recognize my hard work so I can have some sort of weird validation that I think I need from other people.  The need for validation is ridiculous and I know that but it is how I feel right now and this blog was meant to share my feelings and document them so that I can move past them and once I am past them I can look back and know I NEVER want to be at this point again in my life.  I want to look my best and be my best and continue to get better every day.  In order to squash my need for validation as a reason to move on (and not use the lack there of as an excuse to give up) I have been telling myself every day that today I am better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I am today.  That is an honest and true statement which my head and heart can both agree is accurate and a statement which gives me the courage to keep going and not give up.  And my definition of courage is simple:  a scairdy cat is someone who is afraid of goblins ghouls and ghosts, cowards are afraid of the things that matter most.  Giving up is easy, there is no work at all in giving up.  You simply turn around and walk the other way.  Getting better every day than you were the day before is hard and takes lots of work.  Achieving my best self equals success and that is a very important accomplishment that I want to achieve.  This matters a great deal to me and to walk away and quit now would make me a coward so I am mustering all of the courage I can find and digging deep into my soul and doing whatever I have to do to get it done.  This journey is not easy but it is rewarding and I have discovered that I can do whatever I set my mind to do!  

Ok, enough about me and my ramblings!  I told you that if you wanted to know what workout I did today you would have to read the post so here goes.  Today is Day 62 of my journey.  The calendar today was Speed 2.0 for me.  I always break up the double on Friday and do one on Friday and one on Saturday.  The reason I chose to do Upper Focus yesterday was that I have been having trouble getting my Speed 2.0/ Rip't Circuit DVD to load and I was in a hurry.  This morning when I tried to load Speed 2.0 I kept getting an error message saying there is nothing on the DVD (wtf???).  Anyway, since after today I only have one more week of Beta I made a crazy decision to go ahead and try Speed 3.0 from the Gamma series.  HOLY SHIT SHAUN T is all I can say about this workout!!!!  Ok, that's not really all I can say but it is my initial reaction!  My fingers are even wobbly as I am trying to type this post.  I have nailed Speed 2.0 and I have been working out faithfully since the beginning with the exception of a few days when I had strep throat and one other random day.  Can I just tell you that I, or should I say my body, totally petered out after about 18 minutes?  I physically could not do it any more but what I did get through was nothing short of awesome!  If you know me in person or have seen my before pics, you know that I started out as having way to much body fat so in the beginning I had to modify a lot but I stuck with this and did it every day and got stronger every day.  I want to nail this Speed 3.0 and I think that is my new focus in life right now.  I will do my Stretch workout today after work and try Speed 3.0 again tomorrow.  Only tomorrow when I do this workout I will take make sure I have had plenty of good nutrition for my body so it has the energy it needs to get through this workout and so I can get the results I am seeking.  Now I can't wait to try the rest of the Gamma workouts which will happen in only one week.  10 weeks ago I was in the worst shape of my life mentally and physically and now I feel unstoppable!  What's stopping you?  Don't let fear hold you back from living your life.  Find your courage and get up and take control!   

One more thing I would like to say to my future self who may look back someday and read this... even though today you were feeling great and positive, every day isn't like this and you will have days that you will struggle.  My advice to you is to look back at where you started and how hard things were for you then and look at how hard you had to work to get where you are now... you are strong and you got this!  My hope for you is that if you are reading this it is only for the memories, not as encouragement to power through but even if it is so you can power through whatever is happening in your life, always remember that how you handle life's curve balls is what determines how your life is and you have been through a lot and have gotten so strong and you got this too!  The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday and tomorrow be better than you are today!  YOU GOT THIS!