Second I want to explain why in the heck I am sharing all of these CRAZY pics of myself on Facebook for the world to see. If you look at that big girl on the left you will see that girl that was hiding from the world and from herself (and just for the record I sent that chick packing!!!). I hid for over 10 years from even myself. It was a lonely, miserable place. I wasn't physically alone nor was I literally hiding. The person I was pretending to be was a facade to mask the person I had become. On the inside I was just existing. I could go on for days about the events in my life that made me into the self-loathing person that I had become (my mother had a brain defect and became permanently disabled when she was only 39 years old leaving me suddenly in the parent role, my only sibling has been a drug-addict for as long as I can remember and is now doing her second stint in prison, my only nephew followed in his mother's footsteps, my father was an abusive alcoholic when I was a child and I was forced to endure things that no child should ever have to witness and/or be a part of as a child, my step-father who was more like a father to me than my real father ever was passed away in 2006 and 11 months later my father passed away of a sudden heart-attack at the age of 59 then 4 years later I was forced to put my grandmother into a nursing home against her wishes) but I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Those are just the facts but even as I am typing them I am tearing up because it is heart breaking to me. But PLEASE don't pity me. You see I used to be so ashamed of who I was and I thought that I had no value to anyone. As it turns out I do have value to someone and that someone is ME. I was always so consumed with trying to help EVERYONE else around me that I forgot about me. I always thought I was alone until I realized that I have ME and I am pretty awesome! So the reason I share these pics is for attention... oh wait... JUST KIDDING... I share these pics because I want other people to know that I am a real person, with real struggles, who has been at the lowest of lows and I was able to pick myself up and take my life by the horns and start making my dreams a reality and that if I can do it anyone can! If sharing my story that I have kept private my whole life and showing everyone the scars on my heart and my soul can inspire even one person to get the courage to go and chase their own dreams and make them a reality then it was worth every second of the fear I faced by being so raw.
Finally I share these CRAZY pics because I want to go beyond being just an inspiration and become a source of empowerment for those who want to take back their own power. I want to lead by example and reach out my hand to ANYONE who needs encouragement, motivation or inspiration. I want everyone to know that no matter what has happened in your life that there is hope and there is someone out there who cares and that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! I WANT TO BE THE CHANGE that I want to see in the world.
Now, I have a HUGE favor to ask of everyone who reads this blog post. I appreciate your support IMMENSELY and I am asking you to go one step further in helping my cause. I know you wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't stalking me... wait... I mean interested in my story. You may have a great, happy life and are just intrigued by my story, you may know me personally and have a vested interest in my well being, you may secretly hate me and be reading this to hope that I will fail and you can say I told you so or you may be the person who wants to reach out and grab by hand. No matter the reason why you have read this entire post I am asking you to do three simple things for me to help me get to the next step in my journey. If you could PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do these three things you would be helping me out a great deal and I will name my next child after you... oh wait... no I won't because I can't have any more children but isn't it the thought that counts? Anyway, the three things are:
1. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE subscribe to my You Tube channel because the more subscriber I have the cooler people will think I am (although I am pretty cool!!). Click Here for MY YOU TUBE CHANNEL
2. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE follow my blog (same premise as above... I want people to know how awesome I am). Click here then scroll down and the box FOLLOW BY EMAIL is in the column on the right.
3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE refer anyone that you may know who is looking for support, encouragement or motivation to me... I want to be there for them. (my email is tibelling@aol.com, my personal facebook page is www.facebook.com/tina.ballinger.3 if they want to message me or send me a friend request).
Ok, so now that you have done those incredibly nice things for me and you know how fabulous and incredible I am I want to tell you how INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLE (original right?!?) that YOU are!!! YOU COMPLETE ME (Bruce Springsteen's Secret Garden is playing softly in the background now although it is playing so softly you may not be able to hear it so just hum it in your head if you want).
THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER for being you and being here with me!!!
MUCH LOVE,
Ms. Bling (Tina)
#feelinggood #nevergiveup #selfies #dontstopnow #believeinyourself #footballmom
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